Are They Against You or Are You a Coward?

I had this revelation yesterday, Friday June 16th, where I asked myself if our perceptions of people being against us are real? Or are they reflections of our fears? 

I've been spending a lot of time reflecting.  (As a writer I have to, it's how I tap into the good stuff.) And, in my reflections I identified that maybe I was afraid. I'm not afraid of taking leaps of faith as it relates to business but personally, I just got to the point where I felt comfortable facing my feelings. 

Obviously, I face them in my writing but that's different. At that point, I have Internet courage.

Internet courage is that boost of confidence you feel to say and do whatever you want because the people you're saying it to or doing it in front of can't immediately react....or at least they can't react in front of you.  

There's a wall there, more like miles and computer screens, and the presence of it all just makes you feel comfortable.  

So yea, I have Internet courage when I write. I can freely share my thoughts and feelings with you all because ultimately, I can shut down the app, turn off my phone, or simply ignore you.  

The same isn't true in real life. In real life, facing your emotions as it relates to others is different. Because well, they're there, looking at you and waiting to judge you...or so I once thought.  

I talk a lot...to people I trust or have built some type of relationship with. Otherwise, I don't say much at all. Mostly because I am observing to see if you're trustworthy, if I can let down my guard. And, oddly enough, some people who are closest to me biologically are the hardest to talk to. I think I've discovered why.

I have in my mind the way certain relationships should be and I'll be honest and admit that I like to play passenger to the relationship's facilitation. I prefer for them to take the lead.

So, let's say they don't and I perceive their lead aversion to be anti-Laneshia, I've just allowed an idea to manifest about them that may not even be true. When in reality, I was fearful of rejection. 

That fear caused a lot of things to go unsaid; a lot time to pass that we can't get back, and arguments to occur that were unfounded.  

But the first step is realizing you have a problem, right? I realized and accepted that I had Internet courage that needed to manifest itself into real life courage. The same leaps of faith I took with regard to business, I had to take in relationships with friends and family. And, I couldn't expect for them to take the lead all the time. 

To take it a little deeper, I realized that even in business, I was limiting myself out of fear. Sure I would jump but it would be baby leaps compared to what I was capable of.  

I share all of this to say limiting beliefs can take their toll on every part of your life. Even when you're feeling confident and taking risk, you have to check your belief system to see if you're confident in your ability to create positive results.  

We go into things, taking chances but still thinking negatively and end up blaming others for our own fears and limiting beliefs.

I had a conversation with someone the other day and they were telling me about a job they had applied for. They told themselves that if they didn't get the job, they were quitting. And, then blamed the job for the bad juju they brought on themselves. 

Check your belief systems and ask yourself if people are really against you or if you're a coward...fearing rejection so much that you create it.  

 

Laneshia Lamb